Legislated way of correctly giving Naseehah (sincere advice).
This is The Translation of what shaikh said about how the advice ( Nasiha ) must be among the salafiyoon May Allah Reward shaikh Dr. Mohamed Al Aqeel from Islamic Unv. in Madinah
Our Shaikh -may Allah preserve you, I hope you can explain the legislated way of correctly giving Naseehah (sincere advice). Especially if the advised person is a fellow Salafi who has made a few mistakes?
Naseehah (sincere advice) -may Allah protect you- has a very lofty status in Islam. The Prophet -Sallallahu alaihi wa sallam- said, “This religion is Naseehah”, thrice. We said to him, “For whom O Messenger of Allah?”, he said, “For Allah, for His Book, for His Prophets and for all Muslim leaders and common folk.” So giving Naseehah to our brothers entails enjoining virtue upon them, forbidding them from evil and calling them to all good things.
The Prophet -Sallallaahu alaihi wa sallam- says, “… and that you deal with people as you would like them to deal with you.” This principle -may Allah preserve you-, that you deal with people how you’d like to be dealt with:
– How would you like people to give you Naseehah?
– Would you like them to advise you with force?
– With foul language? With violence? Or with kindness?
As Allah says, “Repel evil with that which is better. Then verily, he between whom and you there was enmity, will become as though he was a close friend.” (Fussilat 41:34)
There’s no doubt – may Allah preserve you- that we’re flawed in many issues. We have major flaws in our interaction with our fathers and mothers. Wallahi (by Allah), some parents complain about their children, saying, “If only he hadn’t started practicing! When he wasn’t practicing, he was more obedient to us than he is now!”This, by Allah, is what we’ve heard from some fathers and mothers.
As well as our dealings with our siblings! Our dealings with our neighbors! Our dealings with our wives! Our dealings with our husbands! To the point that one of them said, “Don’t marry a righteous (practicing) woman! You know, my wife has caused me so much stress!”
Na`udhu billah (We seek refuge in Allah)!
Na`udhu billah (We seek refuge in Allah)!
He goes against the statement of the Prophet, “…so marry a righteous woman, you will be successful.” Because she started practicing without knowing the right way. She didn’t learn how to give Da`wah to her husband.
Similarly, many husbands… may Allah keep us safe. They seem like they want to drive people away from men that practice their Religion. Even though a religious man -in reality- will either love his wife, or he’ll abstain from oppressing her, because he fears Allah -the Most High. But we’re flawed.
Another example, is our practice of advising and dealing with one another. We have a little harshness, and we seem to blow mistakes out of proportion.
This is why we need to return to the guidance of the Prophet -Salallaahu alaihi wa sallam. How did he deal with the Jews? Like the Jewish man that came to the Prophet -Salallaahu alaihi wa sallam- and greeted hm by saying, “As-saamu `alaik (Death be upon you), O Muhammad.” This Jewish man was a criminal, here in Madinah! “Death be upon you, O Muhammad”! So the Prophet replied, “and upon you.”
May my parents be sacrificed for him -Sallallaahu alaihi wa sallam.
What etiquette! Our bodies would waste away and we’d be unable to conjure up one tenth of his etiquette -Sallallaahu alaihi wa sallam.
He said, “and upon you.” Our mother, `Aishah -radhiallaahu `anha- said, “Upon you be death and Allah’s Curse!” Upon you be… what? Death, and Allah’s Curse! So he said to her, “Calm down, O `Aishah.” She said to him, “Didn’t you hear what he said!?” So he responded, “And you, didn’t you hear what I said? I said, ‘and upon you’… Allah answers my supplication upon him, and he doesn’t answer his supplication upon me. Now, I say, May death and Allah’s curse be upon him.” Because the Prophet supplicated against him, and then said to her, “Compassion isn’t introduced to anything except it beautifies it, and it isn’t removed from anything except it deforms it.”
Our Religion is a religion of Compassion (Rifq) -may Allah preserve you. Be compassionate towards your brothers, be patient with them. bring their hearts together and give gifts. The Prophet -Sallallaahu alaihi wa sallam- used to give hundreds of camels as gifts. He once gave a Bedouin a whole flock of sheep. -Sallallaahu alaihi wa sallam.
As for matters of Creed -may Allah preserve you:
Here in Madinah, the was a brother from outside the Kingdom, and I was advising him on some matters of Tawheed (monotheism). So he said to me, “Slow down, slow down. I’m sixty years-old now, and for the last fifty years, all I can recall is my mother taking me to the grave (of a perceived Saint) and kissing the steps of the Shrine. Do you expect me to leave this creed of mine -of fifty years- with a couple of statements!? Slow down, one thing at a time…”
Truly, he was right! For thirteen years, the Prophet -Sallallaahu alaihi wa sallam- tried to get them (the Quraish tribe) to leave al-Laat and al-`Uzza (major dieties of pre-Islam Quraish). It wasn’t a simple matter of a few days before Allah’s punishment befell them. When the Prophet -Sallallaahu alaihi wa sallam- was expelled and the Angel of the mountains said to him, “If you wish, I’ll crush them between the two mountains”, the Prophet -Sallallaahu alaihi wa sallam- said, “No, I’ll give them time. perhaps some of their progeny might worship Allah.” Yet those people were disbelievers! He was patient with them.
So what about your Salafi brother who’s made some mistakes? Be patient with him, and kiss him on his head (an Arabian show of compassion and goodwill) and tell him, “My brother, by Allah, I love you (for His sake).” For example, “O Mu`adh, my brother, I love you (for Allah’s sake)”Am I not right?
“O my brother, I love you.”
You don’t come to them and say, “You all and your Shaikh (scholar/teacher) don’t understand anything”, and, “you all are stubborn”, and “you all (this and that)…” Obviously, they’ll say, “You don’t understand anything, neither you, nor your Shaikh.”
So pay attention to your brothers -may Allah preserve you- and be patient with them. This period in time is that of Ghurbah (strangeness/foreignness). We are strangers nowadays. So if you see somebody that has the scent of Salafiyyah… Huh? Just a scent… Yes, I said the scent of Salafiyyah, then kiss his head and say, “By Allah, I love you.”